Lately, I've been minimising my hygiene products to organic and fair-trade items. This is awfully fun, and was definitely easier in Europe. Now that I'm back in the States, things are a bit different--everyone seems to want to market the idea of Health rather than take pride in a local product that is a novelty to travellers.

The "local novelty" thing is how I bought some Italian rosewater from the abbey at Montecassino (very nice, light moisturiser & calming sort of pick-me-up) and a bottle of French orange-blossom shampoo at a small country market (light, but now that my hair is used to it, my scalp doesn't itch as often as it did with synthetic hair products and I have less trouble with the effects of spending days in the AC).

One thing I did not fancy from Europe is toothpaste. I have finally given up on the hideous stuff I bought in Germany and found a tube of aniseed oil toothpaste in a local grocers. I like it much better for practical cleaning and it doesn't spoil the taste of my coffee in the morning (this is v. important!).

I bought LUSH products when I lived in Ireland, and continued buying them as I travelled to and from Italy. I've traced their improvement from "40% recycled" plastic tubs to "100% recycled". My favourite bath bomb is the one with avocado and lemongrass.They call it different things in different countries, but the one I remember is Avobath. It makes the whole bathtub GREEN! I use their face masks and sometimes the more bland and boring of the cleansers, but I'm not on it full time yet as I'm just finishing up the ends of some mild Clinique stuff (it says "comforting" on the label and is the only really useful mild facial cleanser I've found on the wider market).

My comb is made of animal horn (as far as I know, not damaging the animal except to harvest the horns--not a painful process at all) and I love it ever so much more than my former plastic hairbrush. I do have a brush, but it is a smoothing brush of boar bristles. Right now I use almond oil as a leave in conditioner on the length of my hair but not the bits close to my head (they get their own hair oil naturally). It may seem strange to hear, but I really like brushing my hair. It is all very relaxing--I imagine it is similar to a cat being petted.

Self-care is an interesting kind of therapy. Just at present it is something I rather need. I look forward to the day when I can get my hair washed and trimmed at a really nice salon where they give head massages . . .

I suppose it might help to know that I just spent yesterday slaving in the kitchen and today working at the lawn and hauling manure over it. One of my blisters has broken but I've just now managed to get my nails clean of flour and dirt and my hair is still wet from its washing. It feels good to be clean. Oh, and having my computer upset at me for a month or so has helped me remember that there are things outside the internet . . .

The smell of our house has gone from an old, mouldy, un-lived-in smell, to a new, paint-and-citrus-derived-disinfectant smell. Soon it will be a lived-in, cleaned-on-a-regular-basis-but-still-smelling-more-like-cooking-than-cleaning smell.

Everything else I had to say turned out to be a complaint against various perceived ills that will end up forgotten if I just refrain from writing them down. Sorry I had to delete so much. Most of it was about the job market and learning how to paint and my present lack of funds. Some of it was very colourful.

I feel very disconnected from everything and everyone, trying to beg a life for myself here on borrowed property with food given to me, trying to find a job by waving about bits of paper with a list of my professional accomplishments inked onto it. I know there are worse tragedies, but may I say for the record that this is a miserable existence at worst and a frustrating one at best. One thing is certain: this will definitely keep me humble.

I still hate the things I do, most days,--sometimes my utter despite surprises me--but there have been a few times--just a few--where I can feel part of myself changing; unfurling. I think this is right. I think this may be the beginning of something good. I've worked hard to put myself in a place where this situation might occur, but the final moving of events and of my heart is not even under my control. But let us hope.

My first view of America after almost 6 years of European landscapes (exceptfor2weeksinTexas) was descending from out of the clouds over New York, en route to the JFK airport. I think the first thing I saw were suburbs, because there were yards and small roads leading away from houses. Individual houses, not apartment buildings.

My first thought was a deduction of the incredible wealth of Americans. Individual houses?! With yards!? In Italy there are very few separated houses with yards that are affordable. This is true especially of southern Italian cities--even the house I lived in, with several working adults and outside pets, had a small greenish brown area the size of a postage stamp (landscaped to death, too).

Lots of people don't realise that just because Americans have space does not mean space is money. Land is much more expensive in Europe, and there are different ideas attached to owning it. Let's not even go into the quality of the houses on them . . . when America is destroyed like Rome was destroyed, there will be no ruins to excavate.

Then the flight attendant came down the wide aisle of the commercial airplane and tried to give me free soda. Soda is so expensive . . . but in America, it is cheaper than water, and no longer comes in scarred glass bottles except in the country.

And then the plane landed, and nobody clapped.

I started my blog here in the fall of mumblymumbly when I had just moved to Italy. After several weeks during which I was excited about telling Mindsay the news and then bummed that I couldn't access the site from my hotel connection, I am now back in the United States of America.

And I am sitting in an airport, listening to conversations (!!) and considering the purchase of a new toothbrush. I think new toothbrushes are a sign that one is making a new beginning. Possibly this is because I have a very bad habit of leaving my toothbrushes at the hotel. Or house.

It is all very embarrassing, but I do get to observe the culture of dental hygiene on an international level! Once I found a toothbrush in Germany that had three different points of flexibility, four different kinds of bristles, and a SuperGrip. Very hard to resist.

Anyway, I'm here now. It is really a weird feeling. I expect this blog will go through some interesting changes in the forthcoming entries, but there is a lot I can tell about Europe if anyone has any questions about the things I've done. America sometimes seems less interesting to its inhabitants, but to me it will be a new adventure.