"Ok, let's tackle this:)" That's the first thought that ran through my mind when I wrote the subject line. I hate that accusing, reprimanding, superior subject heading--it objects to tangents unless given a vague, broad heading like "trees" or "tomorrow", under which anything is a metaphor or a simile (or like one anyway).

A tugging at my heart. First thought that appears here is "instinct". If I feel this, it is like my emotions running away with my body and mind; like an interminably cold, sand-dredging wave that splashes over you and leaves you paralyzed in the water, momentarily helpless. Like a tree in a very strong wind, endure! And it will make you stronger . . . but it does try to break you, oh it tries to break you. But it will only torment you unless you give in to it.

Sometimes this instinct is helpful in allowing you to accomplish showing you care for someone, but other times it is simply inappropriate and immature. In the perfect moment, you can harness it to a greater good and use it's wildness as a communicative tool. That sounds odd, but take me at my word. I suppose you might compare it to harnessing wind in a sail--it can buffet and shake and shrive but if you have a sail and the wind is going in the direction you want to go, then you can harness it and fly over miles of wilderness in that you might otherwise have been lost and destitute . But use it wrongly and you may starve to death, be humiliated and tormented in the halls of your own memory. And be the instrument of letting your companions show how gracious they can be.

It is always a struggle to use--I have a wild creature inside of me that will not be tamed to the pleading of my mind . . .

And that entry sounds very very strange, but I'm going to let it lie while I go do dishes and stock the fireplace from the woodpile in our basement. And to those who remember this subject in a faraway conversation, I am rehashing it, so there.

*hums*