You know I said I was going to give up using harsh shampoos? Well, I looked up alternatives (natural, organic, etc.) and found out that it is perfectly hygienic to go without shampoo entirely. Just try googling “no shampoo” and see what it comes up with.

Now, going without shampoo does not mean you give up washing your hair entirely--you massage your scalp with warm water as if you were rinsing and lathering at the same time. I refuse to stop conditioning my hair because it is so long (about an inch past my knees) so I use a boar-bristle brush and brush the length of my hair with oils that keep it all shiny and strong.

So, what I’ve been doing is to shower twice without shampoo and then once with, and then two without, in a pattern. When February comes I’ll space it out one more time to three times without shampoo. Then one more in March, et cetera.

Just today, I had planned to get up immediately and shower (with shampoo!) because it was too cold to shower last night; instead I ended up buying a soundtrack entirely done by Sondre Lerche, who is my new hero, and dancing around the kitchen with my coffee mug, all wrapped up in a new green fuzzy bathrobe that makes me look like a . . . a something scary. A math teacher.

My sister, hearing the dulcet tones of Sondre, came downstairs in a good mood and smiled at me. Before I could warn her that I hadn’t shampooed my hair in a week and was very nearly Medusa, she kissed the top of my head and said “Your hair smells nice” and then skipped past me to the coffee machine.

I PEG YOUR BARDON.

Nobody died, or curled up, or turned to stone . . . but let me get this straight: my hair actually smells better when I don’t use shampoo? What what?